An Eye for a Tulip

If you live in Romania you've probably heard all over the news the fact that Holland and Finland vetoed our entry into the Schengen space. If you're a flower export company from Holland that works with Romania you may have heard too and it probably still hurts. In an Old Testament sort of fashion, Romanian Customs halted all trucks bringing Dutch flowers into our country. The official reason is an unnamed virus that affects humans. It seems that this virus affects mainly Dutch exporters and Romanian politicians, not common people. It might affect some Nokia trucks soon - seriously Finland? What have we ever done to you? - and if the standoff  continues some new laws will be enforced:

- permanent ban on Rudolph the Finnish reindeer;

- no wood export to Holland - and let's see you do your traditional wooden clogs with cardboard!

- whoever wears orange will be whipped in public - I have my doubts about that and not only because of Orange, though the French deserve it as they opposed our Schengen space entry in the beginning too;

- all the Dutch people caught will be sent to concentration camps where they will have to learn the song "aşa-i românul (când se veseleşte)";

- we'll bring all our women from the Red Light District back home - except the fat ones;

- Heineken will be prohibited and its factories sold to SAB/Ursus, Finlandia will be allowed to sell tea only;

- Golden Tulip hotels will be de-rated to -1 stars.

I think the most hated word for the soon-to-be Romanian brides is "Schengen". Instead of their desired flower arrangements they will have to make-do with local roses and carnations. Long live the EU brotherhood!